Leaving home
Episcopal News Service. June 20, 2011 [062011-03]
Svetlana Brajdic, Senior Program Manager with Episcopal Migration Ministries
I am originally from Bosnia, a part of the former Yugoslavia, where civil war broke out in 1992. Since I am in a mixed marriage -- my husband is an ethnic Croat and I am an ethnic Serb -- it was challenging to live in Bosnia when the civil war was raging. The situation for me and my family became really unbearable; we were threatened on a daily basis by different kinds of military units, and also by our neighbors.
Ultimately I didn't want to leave Bosnia; that's my home country. But to keep our sanity and keep our lives, we had to leave Bosnia. My husband and I left in 1995, but my parents and my brother left earlier. My father was severely wounded in the war and he was evacuated to Serbia.
We found ourselves living as refugees in Croatia, and that was not really a fun part for us either. Being an ethnic Serb, it was not easy for me to go through life being exposed to the vicious politics at the time. Ultimately we decided the only option for us was to apply for third-country resettlement.
We applied in the end of January of 1995; we had our interview with a U.S. immigration officer sometime in March when our application was approved; and we left for the United States in June of 1995. This year will be the 16th anniversary.
We came to New York City because my husband's sister lived here at that time. We did not have any specific desire of where to go: just a desire to go wherever in the U.S. -- or in the world -- we would be happy.
Although I was fluent in English and I personally did not have a lot of cultural shock when we came to the U.S., it was still emotional. I was separated from my parents and from my brother.
My husband didn't speak a single word of English, so there was a tough road ahead of us. When I say "us," I really mean it, because the fact that I spoke English was helpful, but I had to support my husband to learn the language.
We were 33 at the time, and in the former Yugoslavia, when you're 33 you are supposed to be already developed, to know how to do everything. But here, we had to learn something new every day, and my husband had to say: "If I want to develop, if I want to make something out of my life, I have to learn the language."
I made him read the New York Times everyday, and he had dictionaries sitting on his desk. Ultimately, he did overcome that and he is fluent in English now.
We were resettled through a resettlement agency called the Ethiopian Community Development Council, which is one of 10 national voluntary resettlement agencies that help refugees here in the U.S. Since I was fluent in English, the director of that agency offered me a job within a week upon arrival, which I was really excited and happy about.
I didn't know everything about resettlement, but I had the experience of suddenly being separated from your family. I was sad, I was emotional, and I thought I had that connection with other refugees. I worked for ECDC for a year and a half, and in February 1997, I joined the Episcopal Migration Ministries team, and I have been with EMM ever since.
I do my best in encouraging the refugees that EMM serves to participate in their new society. Yes, we came as refugees, we are refugees, we will probably be refugees in our minds forever. However, we have to work together with friends, colleagues, and in our communities in actually making ourselves productive members of the society. That's a good recipe for all newcomers to succeed.
I have traveled quite a bit in this country, and I have always been welcomed. This is a country that is open, welcoming and warm. I really never felt that I am a person of lesser value than anybody else here.
I think about my refugee experience every day, and I'm reminded of it through the 15 million people around the world who are still refugees. Refugees do not want to be refugees; they want stay in their homes. However, when they come here, they have to know that there is a helping hand here.
-- Svetlana Brajdic is a senior program manager with Episcopal Migration Ministries. For the last 14 years, she has contributed to the Episcopal Church's refugee resettlement ministry, providing vital assistance to thousands of refugees. Brajdic agreed to share her story for World Refugee Day, June 20.