Lambeth spouses eager to build relationships, partner with bishops
Episcopal News Service, Canterbury. July 17, 2008 [071708-01]
Mary Frances Schjonberg
Dressed in saris, capri pants, dashikis, polo and sports shirts, some even sporting elaborate tattoos, nearly 550 wives and husbands of Anglican Communion bishops gathered July 17 for the opening session of the Lambeth Spouses' Conference.
As the participants filed into a sports hall at the University of Kent in Canterbury, England, the other group of spouses -- the bishops -- left for Canterbury Cathedral to begin a retreat led by Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams in advance of the formal start of the decennial Lambeth Conference.
"I think what is going to be very helpful is the fact that the bishops are on retreat for the first two and a half days which will allow them to focus on the real mission of the conference in a way that can be helpful not only to them but to the spouses as well," said Larry Waynick, husband of Diocese of Indianapolis Bishop Catherine Waynick.
Many spouses spoke of that same sense of partnership and connection between their gathering and that of the bishops.
The two conferences are related "because our work is not different from bishops' work," said Nirmala Vasanthakumar, from the Bangalore-based Diocese of Karnataka Central, in the Church of South India.
"We work closely with our husbands, the bishops, and assist them in their ministries, and definitely whatever they are involved in affects the ministry of the church and what we are involved in also affects the ministry of the church," she said.
The Rev. Rose Hudson-Wilkin, chaplain to the Spouses' Conference, said she hopes that the spouses can be "conduits of fantastic fellowship so when they go back and share that with their husbands…the bishops will begin to reflect on the meaning of true fellowship -- the fact that we don't need to dot every 'i' and cross every 't' to sit at the table together, but that we can hold hands and walk together because it is Christ who invites us to walk and be together."
Yet the Spouses' Conference also aims to be different from the bishops' gathering.
Pauline Hoskin, of the Diocese of Calgary in Canada, said she thought the Spouses' Conference will complement the bishops' gathering because "we will get more of the personal stories. The bishops will be more with the issues."
Richard Schori, husband of Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori, said he hopes that the spouses "can have such serious and interesting conversations that we can perhaps be a model for conversations around the Communion."
"I think that what we need to do is to discuss the historical aspects of how we have different theologies in our environments from the various missionaries that came from England in the first place," he added. "If we can discuss those from both points of view, that is hearing other people's stories and telling our own stories, then I think we have a real chance for solving a lot of the divisional issues that we experience."
Waynick, who attended the 1998 Spouses' Conference, said he hopes the spouses "would be able to establish relationships gradually," adding that such efforts began before the bishops and their spouses got to Canterbury. Many of them participated in the pre-Lambeth Conference Hospitality Initiative, during which bishops and their spouses from all over the Communion spent time in English, Scottish or Welsh dioceses and "got to know people on a personal basis without issues," Waynick said.
"It has an entirely different feel than Lambeth 10 years ago and my hopes are that it will continue the positive relationship building that has already begun," he said.
The July 17 gathering began with a private plenary titled "How to tell our stories: telling my story and listening to others." Sarah Meyrick, a conference spokesperson, said that the session was meant to be a "quiet" means of settling the spouses into the design and intent of the conference. The two-and-a-half-hour session included introductions by Jane Williams, spouse of the Archbishop of Canterbury, and Hudson-Wilkin.
Participants also spent time in table conversations. Lindy Driver, from the Diocese of Adelaide, said that in the opening plenary session, spouses learned about "listening and acknowledging the cultural differences -- how to do that."
Hoskin said the countries represented at her table during the opening plenary, in addition to her own, were Burundi, Mozambique and Lesotho. "I learned a little bit about their countries and their enthusiasm about the Mothers' Union, which isn't so well known in Canada, although I’m familiar with it because we have two Sudanese congregations in the diocese," she said.
Nearly every morning the Spouses' Conference will include small-group Bible study based around Jesus' "I am" statements in John's Gospel, paralleling the bishops' study time.
Large-group discussions during the Spouses' Conference will explore how to be effective in the role of bishop's spouse, how to uphold close relationships, how to respond to the leadership challenges spouses face, and how to address the health and personal development issues of themselves and others.
The spouses are due to meet jointly with the bishops on July 29. Williams said the joint meeting was called because some of the things the spouses will discuss "are not 'women's issues.'"
"The whole people of God need to be challenged and have their needs heard and ministered to in these areas," she said.