California Forum Explores Issue of Blessing Same-Sex Unions
Episcopal News Service. May 26, 1999 [99-081]
Stephanie Green
(ENS) Advocates who favor the church's move to bless same-sex unions met for a two-day forum in April at Church Divinity School of the Pacific (CDSP), addressing the most difficult obstacles they face in dealing with a highly controversial issue.
The forum, "Should the Church Bless Same-Sex Unions?" was sponsored by the Center for Anglican Life and Learning and CDSP, was facilitated by the Rev. Edwin Bacon, rector of All Saints' Church in Pasadena, and the Rev. Kathleen van Sickle of Good Shepherd Church in Berkeley.
Bacon said that his participation in the forum was based, not just on a theology of justice alone, but on a theology and passion for vocation. He cited author Frederick Buechner's definition of vocation -- where one's deep joy and the world's deep needs meet. "People and systems are most energized when they are in touch with their vocations and in tune with their call," he said. "To live a called life is to live an energized life; a non-called life is bland and energyless."
Admitting that he was raised to believe that gays and lesbians choose their orientation, Bacon said that an adult gay friend led him to a deep conviction that it was not a choice, that God intended some people to be gay. And he noticed that his gay colleague felt safe and free when he could "express his giftedness, skill and passion in an unbridled, creative form." Yet when he encountered judgment from family, colleagues and friends, he suppressed his creativity to protect himself.
Drawing on a similar experience over the issue of women's ordination, Bacon said that he felt drawn into a commitment to prepare people for inevitable change. So he began teaching about the holiness of homosexual love -- and the need for the church to bless same-sex unions.
When he was dean of the cathedral in Jackson, Mississippi, he was interviewed by All Saints' in Pasadena and asked if he would bless same-sex unions. He answered, "Absolutely." The issue became concrete when he was asked to bless a couple celebrating a 15-year relationship. During counseling he drew on questions he had always used before: Is there sacramental power in the relationship? Can one sense the presence of the Holy Spirit in all aspects of their relationship? Shortly after he arrived, he did bless the relationship, calling it a "thrilling and energizing" experience.
Shortly after he moved to Pasadena, and in the wake of the attempted heresy trial of Bishop Walter Righter for ordaining a non-celibate gay man, Bacon convened the first "Beyond Inclusion" conference as a celebration of gay and lesbian presence in the church.
Bacon is convinced that a Gospel power is released in parishes where gays and lesbians are free to be out -- and to be blessed by the community. "The church knows something about God's radically inclusive love: the Eucharist turns people's lives around and it, too, is experienced as a Gospel moment."
He concluded by stressing that the kingdom of God is a reign of justice and about being aligned with God's love. If the world were left to its own designs, he argued, it would never make itself just, non-violent and inclusive. Therefore the Body of Christ has a special responsibility to push the world to be just, peaceful and inclusive, even if that means that "individual churches must engage in ecclesial disobedience in order to bring the national church into the arena where it may lead the world in justice, particularly on this issue."
When she was a senior at CDSP, Van Sickle did not know that she was a lesbian. Several years later, when she and her partner moved to the Bay Area where she worked as a liturgical deacon at Good Shepherd in Berkeley, she was drawn into the issue blessing same-sex unions.
Members of the parish met with the bishop to discuss the issue, prepared to argue the case in favor. They were surprised when the bishop suggested that, as a pilot project, the congregation put together a liturgy for blessing a couple in the congregation, perform that ceremony and report back to him.
The challenge led the congregation into a discussion about who it was and what it was celebrating -- a life-giving relationship. The whole congregation participated in scriptural study, accompanied by a theological exploration of baptism and other issues that defined them as a community.
During a search for a couple that was open to a ceremony, it dawned on Van Sickle and her partner that they might be the right candidates. Even though they had decided to wait until the church had resolved the issue, they realized that the church moves at "glacial speed" and sometimes needs a nudge.
Elizabeth Smith, a doctoral student in liturgy at CDSP, wrote a service and, even though Van Sickle and her partner Barbara describe themselves as private people, Van Sickle acknowledged that the blessing ceremony was "the most fabulous event in my life -- an incredible experience because of the love of the community gathered."
The ceremony was a transforming experience for her family, especially for her mother who "could now know that the church loves me and that it is okay to be with Barbara."
Concerns emerged from eight small groups, addressing some of the most difficult barriers to the church's blessing of same-sex relationships.
Many people, for example, expressed concern over how to address through pastoral care and dialogue those in the church who have no tolerance for homosexuality and those who disagree strongly with the blessing of same-sex unions. Some wondered if the church might be permanently divided over the issue. Others wondered how to maintain unity with the rest of the Anglican Communion.
Bacon stressed that the current conflict should be regarded as a teaching moment through which the church can look at its biblical interpretation, theology, liturgy, community involvement and sacramental life. He noted that experience is the greatest teacher and that, without it, there is no vision.
"Every story of change in the church came from the battering ram of justice," he said. "Justice has to be pushed and confronted and people need to be willing to risk themselves. Education needs to be directed to everyone -- even the bishops. The bishops are not the church, however; this was the mistake of Lambeth."
Many participants shared concerns about the kind of liturgy that might be used to bless same-sex unions, arguing that it should not mimic heterosexual marriage rites but be adapted to the needs and realities of individual relationships. Bacon said that he follows the structure for marriage from the Book of Common Prayer but gives couples the freedom to choose their own language.
"I am concerned that the blessing of a union will not carry with it the sacramental statement into the world that marriage carries," said one person. "I believe within the couple a sacramental quality might be present but how can they proclaim and share that sacrament in the world?"
In addressing some of the civil implications, some wondered what "weight" the blessings would carry. Since marriage is the place where church and state meet, another person asked how the church could "lead the way for secular and legal institutions to make room for same-sex unions." John Kater, who teaches ethics at CDSP, recommended separating civil and religious ceremonies, as is done in most of the world. "Let the civil society get on with the civil act, let the church bless people," he said.
Broad concern was expressed about how the church community could best support a gay or lesbian couple before, during and after a blessing. And some questioned the process of counseling before the ceremony. Bacon said that, in his experience, there wasn't much difference in the issues couples face.
One gay man underscored the importance of finding support within the church community for long-term relationships because, in the gay community, those relationships are more the exception than the rule. Bacon reminded participants that the community did the blessing.
The church's difficulty in dealing with sexuality stems largely from its inability to deal with the unity of the body and the spirit, making it almost impossible to accept homosexuality as something intended by God.