The establishment and maintenance of a sister parish relationship is a low-cost program which can provide many benefits to a congregation and its members. Such a relationship can be much more than what "we" do for "them."

A simple illustration shows the benefits of one of our sister parish relationships. A Mexican man in our parish wrote a letter to a fellow Episcopalian in Puerto Barrios, Guatemala. He was eager to contact the Episcopal Church beyond the U.S. borders, and via our relationship he came to understand the reality that we are part of a worldwide communion. He urged others to write letters. And he introduced relatives to the Anglican cathedral in Mexico City. By way of a single person, the sister parish relationship touched our two parishes, encouraged a particular parishioner, and affected an extended family in Mexico.

Our small parish is committed to the international quality of the Anglican Communion. For several years we had the relationship with the parish in Puerto Barrios. We are now in the initial stages of developing a relationship with a congregation in Belize. Eighteen months ago we established a continuing project to collect and forward money and resources to help support an Anglican priest and presence at the Theological College of Lanka, in Sri Lanka. While it is not a sister parish relationship, it is still an international contact with many of the same benefits.

There are many benefits of a sister parish relationship - especially an international one. It is a good antidote to parochialism. It makes the "catholicity," or universality and diversity, of the church real, and gives a deeper sense of the Pauline images of being equal and different members of the same body of Christ.

It can be helpful to see the world through different eyes. In addition to helping us learn about another nation and culture, an international relationship can teach us about different communication styles, and issues. Some of the material we received from Guatemala included booklets from Native American Christian groups. One covered the history of Latin America in simple drawings and a simple text from the perspective of Native Americans. It echoed similar materials from our own country. It was also interesting to see a Spanish-language cartoon of laughing Native Americans pointing to a European and saying, "He says his name is Columbus, and he came to discover us." So a sister parish relationship can introduce new ideas, and challenge established ways.

Sometimes it is useful to confirm what we already know. Many professional organizations give continuing education credit for teaching a course, because it is necessary to re-examine and re-organize materials in order to teach. Similarly, as we try to teach the people of a sister parish about ourselves and our situation, we re-examine ourselves and learn a great deal in doing so.

Establishing a sister parish relationship is a process which requires time and thought. The first step is to agree upon the general purpose of such a relationship. Forming this vision needs to take account of the pastoral, educational, theological, social and program dimensions of one's parish.

Our parish is small, poor, inner city, bilingual, multicultural and multinational. For comfort and "fit," we needed a poor, non-Anglo, Third World congregation as a match. To benefit our Hispanic parishioners, it was educationally and pastorally beneficial to have contact with the church in Latin America. We also needed a congregation in which there was activity beyond the immediate congregation. The church in Puerto Barrios was founded by expatriate Britons, and had some memory of transition to a Guatemalan membership. This was also useful for us. The Guatemalan priest supervised two rural deacons and seven small mission stations. The people were involved in gathering used clothing and other material for the people of the missions. We formed a sense of our general aims and compared them to the nature of the Guatemalan parish as a basis for agreeing to the arrangement.

Finding possible relationships can be done in many ways. A priest friend in a neighboring diocese suggested Puerto Barrios to us. When we decided to establish a relationship in Belize, we wrote the Bishop of Belize and asked if he would help make a suitable arrangement. We indicated our needs and general purpose as a guide. It is also useful to have parishioners involved from the beginning, so they can make suggestions based on their own travels, friendships, knowledge, or best-guess judgments.

Once a particular congregation has been identified, it is valuable to involve many people in expanding the statement of goals and hopes. Our youth group did some map study of Belize, and prepared a list of possible activities in a sister parish relationship. The resulting newsprint list was put in a prominent place to stimulate the ideas of other parishioners. Not only did we get a broad set of ideas, but our process drew supportive comments about the capacities of our youth.

When contacting the other parish, tell about the process you have used. What are your needs and purposes? How did you settle on that parish? Then describe the people, programs and dynamics of your parish and its relationship to the surrounding community and the diocese. Ongoing communication is essential. Letters, of course, can be written, and it is a good idea to include photographs. If the sister parish has access to a VCR, it is wonderful to have a videotape exchange. Mutual prayer lists for families, organizations and particular ministries are helpful.

The exchange of prayer books, books of alternative and occasional services, and hymnals makes it possible to understand the liturgical life of the other parish. Christian education materials show the education issues, styles and methods used by the other church. An exchange of parish histories, articles, and/or early documents can be fascinating.

When my wife and I visited our Guatemalan sister parish, we visited parishioners, and went to some mission stations. We were there for Sunday Mass. At the beginning of the after-Mass pot luck, a young couple begged me to baptize their sick baby. Two weeks before, they had gone to the local Roman Catholic parish for the baptism, but the little money they had would pay either for the medicine to try to save the baby's life, or the church's baptism fee, but not both. They chose to buy the medicine, so the priest refused the baptism and bade them goodbye. As the priest in our sister parish did the emergency baptism, I reflected upon the Reformation idea that the offices and sacraments of the church are not for sale. Since then there have been some good discussions in "my" parish about baptism fees, wedding fees, and similar matters.

A relationship should not begin with the intention to provide money or other resources for a poverty situation. The result will be an unequal relationship in which the money-giver will feel there is little to learn. It is possible that, in the course of a relationship, an unexpected financial need may arise for which the American parish can provide help, but that is a different matter. During the course of our Guatemalan relationship, we found there were arrangements for the priest to do part-time graduate studies in Mexico. The finances fell apart because of international economic changes. It was impossible to raise the funds from our poor parish, but we raised some and asked nearby parishes to help, and they did. But money was not the heart of our relationship.

A sister parish relationship is potentially all-encompassing. It can touch all aspects of parish life. The learning and sharing of faith can be profound. q