The Rev. Gene Combs, of Rockford, Ill., sends along this amusing story:

Flying in a hot air balloon on a cloudy day, a man had trouble seeing and navigating. So he drops downbeneath the clouds and looks for signs of life to get directions. He sees a man on the ground below.

"Hello there!" he yells. "Sir, can you tell me where I am?"

"You are about 60 feet off the ground in a hot air balloon," the man on the ground yells back.

"You must be a theologian," the man in the balloon shouts.

"Yes indeed, I am a theologian," the man on the ground answers. "How did you know?"

The man in the balloon responds, "Your information is correct, but it is of absolutely no use to me."

"You must be a bishop," the man on the ground shouts.

"I am a bishop," the balloonist yells. "How did you know?"

The man on the ground shouts back, "You don't know where you are, you don't know how you got here, you don't even know where you are going. And you think it is all my fault."

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Church of England Newspaper has announced the winners of its 1998 John Spong Awards. In the category Worst Behavior by a Bishop, the winner was none other than the Bishop of Newark "for Twelve Theses denying almost the entire Christian faith, and for his insulting words on African Anglicanism."

A second category, the Spong Newcomer Award, lists two nominees, Bishop Richard Holloway of Edinburgh and Bishop Michael Ingham of New Westminster (Canada), but states the winner will be announced.

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The Rt. Rev. Barbara C. Harris, Bishop Suffragan of Massachusetts, reports she received a Christmas card addressed to "The Rt. Rev. and Mr. Barbara C. Harris."

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An alternate acclamation to begin the liturgy is popping up in some churches. The Rt. Rev. Robert H. Johnson encountered it while visiting another diocese. The celebrant, instead of beginning with the usual "Blessed be God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit," opens with "God is good!" The response of the people: "All the time!"

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The Rev. Paul D. Tunkle, rector of St. James' Church, Alexandria, La., reports this tale:

"Our choirmaster phoned in the hymns for Sunday. Our secretary is new and being trained. He said to her, 'Hymn 680,' but she got confused. When people arrived for church, the bulletin said the opening hymn was '600 A.D.' We figured out what had happened and sang with gusto, 'O God our help in ages past,' including the seventh century."

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And the license plate watch continues. My only sightings were ARC ANGL and HOSANA.

The Rev. Fred Quinn, of Chevy Chase, Md., reports being stuck on the Wilson Bridge behind a truck which had the tag LFTHMUP. William Paulk, of Cullowhee, N.C., saw IBELIEVE, the Rev. Doug MacDonald, of Acton, Maine, spotted V.MARY and adds, "I think the driver must have a rather high opinion of herself."

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Note to "the Rev. Mr. Tom" in Virginia: Sorry, there are no plans to reprint the "Fond du Lac circus" photo.

David Kalvelage, executive editor