The Rt. Rev. Joe Morris Doss, Bishop of New Jersey, spoke of healing and forgiveness when he addressed more than 800 members of the diocese Nov. 15, at Trinity Cathedral, Trenton.

Less than two weeks after being asked to resign by two important diocesan committees, Bishop Doss admitted that he had lied to a priest of the diocese, and that he had used a discretionary fund for personal expenses. Bishop Doss apologized to the gathering and vowed to remain as bishop of the diocese.

The extraordinary event also included a walkout by about a third of those present in protest of the controlled format of the meeting, and lines of persons who came forward at the end of the Eucharist for a personal blessing by Bishop Doss.

"I know I have made mistakes," Bishop Doss told the gathering in his address. "I have sinned in thought, word and deed. I confess it. I am sorry for it. I offer you my repentance."

Bishop Doss used the example of Jacob wrestling with a man until daybreak. "Now is the time for the struggle, here and now, and the struggle is as personal and close as a wrestling match," he said.

"I like Jacob's story. It reminds me of myself. With his inconsistencies and contradictions. With the ability to do good and also to do bad.

"It hurts to hold on - it hurt Jacob to hold on - and yet I must. It would be so much easier to let go, and yet, I can't. It hurts you to hold on and yet you must. It would be so much easier for you to let go, and yet I can't. So I say to myself and you: go ahead, struggle. Go ahead, take the challenge ..."

Following the address, the Rt. Rev. George Hunt, retired Bishop of Rhode Island, was moderator for a question-and answer session. He told the crowd that speakers would be allowed only to ask questions of Bishop Doss, not to make statements.

"This event was called by Bishop Doss," Bishop Hunt said. "It is his meeting and his agenda."

At that point, the Rev. Leroy Lyons, rector of St. Mark's Church, Plainfield, and president of the Black Caucus in the diocese, called on persons to stand and leave with him. About a third of the gathering left the cathedral.

"The standing committee asked him to resign. The diocesan council asked him to resign," Fr. Lyons told the Home News of New Brunswick. "Don't you think he should have asked them to explain why? Instead he takes control."

Outside the cathedral, Dr. George Moore, of St. Augustine's, Red Bank, another member of the Black Caucus, read a statement which he had intended to read at the gathering inside.

"The four years of anomie, disappointment and heartbreaks have clearly demonstrated to us that you are incapable of raising up new life from the ashes of the destruction that you have created," Dr. Moore said. "You don't possess those gifts."

Among those who left the cathedral was the Rev. Alan French, rector of St. Andrew's, New Providence, N.J. When Fr. French was under consideration to be rector of another parish in the diocese, it was reported that Bishop Doss had urged the Rev. Charles Rush, a United Church of Christ minister, to write a letter to the search committee of that congregation, urging the committee not to consider Fr. French. During the question-and-answer period, Bishop Doss admitted that he lied when he denied he was involved with the information presented to that parish.

"There was one word for it - a total lie," the bishop said. "I am deeply sorry. I immediately knew I was wrong. There's no way I can explain it. All I can do is say I'm sorry."

One of the questions concerned use of Bishop Doss's discretionary fund. He said he used $5,000 from the fund to pay his income taxes. Bishop Doss said the amount was "an advance" on his salary and said he would pay it back.

In the afternoon, when Bishop Doss was about to pronounce the blessing at the conclusion of the Eucharist, a woman holding a small child came forward and asked for a personal blessing rather than the customary communal benediction. Others followed her and soon most of those who remained inside the cathedral stood in line for a blessing, singing hymns as they waited. Many persons filled out cards which invited them to make a commitment to "the process of healing and reconciliation."

Bishop Doss said he would be available at the cathedral on two dates during November for persons to ask questions.