Former national church treasurer Ellen Cooke said she experienced "a breakdown precipitated by many factors external to me and to the workplace," in an "open letter" addressed to members of the Executive Council. In the letter, written two days before details of the misappropriation of funds revealed by an audit was released by Presiding Bishop Edmond L. Browning, Mrs. Cooke said she underwent a series of extensive psychiatric examinations and is continuing with the therapy.

"In the judgment of the psychiatrist who has evaluated me, I am one of a small percentage of the population who by reason of personality are simply unable to stop in the face of enormous pressures and stress," she wrote. "He believes that my subsequent actions, blocked from memory during this time, were a cry for help which I fully expected to be discovered and questioned, and which escalated as I tried to escape from a situation which had become intolerable."

Mrs. Cooke's letter was written in response to a short article in the May 1995 issue of Episcopal Life, in which it was stated that "lawyers and the Presiding Bishop's office were negotiating a date in early May to provide for disclosure of the audit results and any action the church might consider as a result of the misuse of funds by former treasurer Ellen F. Cooke." Mrs. Cooke said that until this announcement, her lawyers "had not been consulted about a date for any kind of statement or report. It was my desire, supported by my attorneys, that we discuss and establish a mutual date and a complete process before any full disclosure statement was to be revealed by either party."

On May 1, the Presiding Bishop detailed the misappropriation of $2.2 million in church funds by Mrs. Cooke in a five-page message to the church.

Mrs. Cooke said she was asked to resign as treasurer by Bishop Browning on Dec. 21, 1994, and that she did submit her resignation Jan. 6.

"On Feb. 9, 1995, in response to his request to me the night before, I met with the Presiding Bishop and his legal counsel, to hear allegations of misuse of funds," she wrote. "At that time I expressed to the Presiding Bishop, and reiterated to my diocesan bishop, Peter Lee [of Virginia], a desire to know the facts of the matter, to accept full responsibility for my inappropriate use of funds, to make full and complete restitution to the church, and to seek therapeutic assistance immediately in order to understand what happened and why." Two days later, she began psychiatric evaluation.

"In late March, a priest of the Episcopal Church wrote and offered her pastoral support if and when I needed it," Mrs. Cooke continued. "After several conversations she agreed to be my priest and pastor. She has consistently held up to me the truth of my inappropriate and wrong response to the situation in which I find myself. But she has also helped me acknowledge the pain, abuse and powerlessness I have felt during the years I worked as a lay woman on a senior level at the church headquarters."

Mrs. Cooke said she has been working with her accountant to identify funds which she may have misused, and that "significant differences" with the auditors' report need to be addressed and agreed upon before any settlement can be reached. She said she has offered to relinquish future interest in pension, health and life benefits, and "any interest in the separation agreement based on my eight years' work," and described in a letter from the Presiding Bishop.

"I am experiencing deep remorse and regret for the pain and grief my actions have caused my family, friends, co-workers and the general church," she wrote. "I also feel sorrow for any pain I may have caused the Presiding Bishop. I do pray regularly for the Presiding Bishop and for the church."