Prayer is as individual as a thumbprint, as private as a heartbeat. One rarely thinks about how one prays, and the question, when asked recently, took many people by surprise.

"I've never thought about it," said a retired priest with some incredulity.

Several respondents initially said they doubted they could verbalize such a covert process, but found that once they began to speak about prayer, their words flowed.

Lay persons and clergy, across the country from Florida to Alaska, were asked without preamble, "How do you pray?" Some answers were very brief; others became exploratory monologues. No one dismissed the question.

Many persons described their prayers as conversations with God.

Mary Hilton of Orlando, Fla., executive secretary of the Anglican Fellowship of Prayer, said, "I just talk to the Lord."

Bruce Garner of Atlanta, past president of Integrity, described it a bit less formally. "When it's just me and God - rather than during corporate prayer in church - it's like a conversation. We chat back and forth."

Sr. Philippa of the Sisters of Charity in Nevada said, "I pray ... I praise, I talk to God - sometimes I tell him he's dumb, or he's crazy!"

The Rev. Robert Stub, a retired priest of the Diocese of Fond du Lac, said, "We call him, like I call you on the telephone; sort of 'Hi, God, here I am.' It involves 'presence' on both sides - our awareness of being in his presence."

"God already knows what I'm trying to express," said Barbara Braver, communications officer for the Presiding Bishop. "I pray without ceasing, wordlessly - words are really for me, to help me get in touch with my deepest joys and pains."

"I'm speaking directly to my Father in heaven. I just put it in his hands," said Beulah Turgeon, of Mission, S.D.

"I just pour out my feelings," said the Rev. Douglas Puckett, rector of St. Paul's Church in Graniteville, S. C. "I've learned the hard way [that] God is my therapist." Fr. Puckett also prays the Thousandfold Prayer: "Lord, make me a thousandfold more useful to thee."

Others spoke of a particular time or place as being more conducive to prayer.

Winona Hawley, a preschool teacher in Alaska, said, "I go to my room whenever I need to pray. I lock myself in and kneel down." Then she continued, "[Other] times I just look up at the sky - I'm thankful for the air we breathe, the wind, the clouds, the earth we walk on!"

Irene Gonzalez, of Madison, Wis., Christian formation coordinator for the Diocese of Milwaukee, said she sometimes takes "a 10-second look outside the window - a moment of gratitude and appreciation for joy, for epiphany!" In fact, Ms. Gonzalez chuckled a bit and countered, "How do you pray?" with "Let me count the ways." More seriously, she said, "There are different ways for different reasons: quiet, contemplative, with little real thought or word; direct, beseeching; or times of praise, simply moments of encounter."

Cynthia Schwab, a member of St. Philip's Church in Joplin, Mo., has "three passions - God, classical music, and ice hockey!" She described the time "between wake up and get up" as a time when "people float into my mind, and I pray for them."

Deacon Kerry Kirking in Spokane, Wash., responded to the question with "Daily, evening and morning. I try to focus my day early on, and sum it up at the end."

"It's better early in the morning, about 6 o'clock. No phones, no radio," said the Rev. Jerome Burns, rector of Holy Cross Church in Pittsburgh, Pa.

Scott Evans, a North Carolina lay woman, recalled a particularly striking experience: "I was at the coast, in an isolated area, early one morning. Creation was waking and I was aware of the presence, overwhelmed by the goodness and the glory of God."

A respondent who wished to remain anonymous described feeling an intense and eternal stillness while visiting Mt. Rainier in Washington state.

"I need lots of silence," said the Rev. Gwendolyn-Jane Romeril, of Easton, Pa. I get up early, and take time without an agenda. I need to build in time away, to experience quiet - schedule it, like a rhythm." Ms. Romeril drew on the Quaker influence of "just being with God and each other. We need to listen, learn what to let go of."

Many persons spoke of the importance of listening.

Brenda Rock of Lyons, Kan., Province 7 youth coordinator, said, "I speak to God as if he were right here present with me. I ask him questions ... sometimes I get answers, sometimes to questions I didn't know I had. I have to try to keep open to his will, not interject my will."

The Rev. Milo Coerper of Chevy Chase, Md., priest, lawyer, and member of the Evelyn Underhill Society, said, "Prayer is intentional and attentional. We need to sit erect, be present to God, sense the love of God."

"Some people are afraid of silence, aloneness, of hearing God," Ms. Romeril said. "We are so busy running away from ourselves that we're not centered. We need to listen first, experience the presence."

Physical movement can be a catalyst for prayer.

John Cannon, chancellor of the Diocese of Michigan, said, "I'm a runner; I run every morning. I pray when I run. I sort things out with prayer."

Mary Lee Simpson, communications officer of the Diocese of Southwestern Virginia, swims laps. "I pray the Jesus Prayer for family and friends, [with the] rhythm of breathing and kicking," she said. Several said they found themselves praying while walking.

For the Rt. Rev. Franklin Turner, Suffragan Bishop of Pennsylvania, for Sr. Philippa, and for George McGonigle, of Austin, Texas, a lay consultant in leadership and development, the monastic idea "To work is to pray" is vital.

Sr. Philippa mentioned the Celtic prayer, "I'm worshiping you in work, reading, the countryside." Bishop Turner said, "To render service to others - giving food, clothing. I seldom think of prayer as doing; it's being - carrying on my ministry."

Church musicians especially seemed to find work and prayer merged.

Ruby Dart, organist-choirmaster at St. Luke's, Baton Rouge, La., said, "I pray constantly: on my knees, in the kitchen, in rehearsal. When you sing a prayer, as St. Augustine said, you pray twice. And playing the organ is offering the music to God."

Robert Triplett, music director at Trinity Church, Iowa City, said he prays "through my music - not in words. The wordless music of the organ is a transcendent language that enhances words!"

The written word is useful to many in prayer. Several people mentioned the Daily Offices, especially Morning Prayer, as a way to focus prayer.

The Rev. Canon Carol Crumley, canon educator at Washington National Cathedral, spoke of Morning Prayer as "a way into [the] silence" of contemplative prayer, "beyond words, into thoughts and images."

Frederica Thompsett, academic dean of Episcopal Divinity School, practices "10 minutes of silence, then Morning Prayer alone, followed by the corporate office."

Patricia Brown, of Delmar, N.Y., saves time for reading of the lectionary and other religious books and for writing herself, in her journal.

is used by many as a guide, but Sr. Lois Robinson of the Church Army had a list of reading material that also included Guideposts, Through the Year with Michael Ramsey, the Anglican Cycle of Prayer, and the daily psalms and lessons.

Sr. Lois, a member of Holy Trinity, San Diego, Calif., who served in the Navy, as a nurse in Alaska, and with the Creek Indians in Alabama before joining the Church Army in 1967, said, "I say grace before meals - sometimes after meals if I forget. I put thoughts and prayers into everyday life."

Rita Bennett, of St. Alban's, Edmonds, Wash., who conducts seminars on prayer and inner healing, said, "We take the person back in time to the wounded spot and experience Jesus' love to take away the lie that's been accepted." The results are immediate, she said, because the person is open to "letting God fill in the gaps" in his or her life. "Living is prayer for the Christian," she said.

Prayer is as individual as thumb prints.

John Coppage, administrator of the new Diocese of Eastern Michigan, sometimes prays "arrow prayers, from my heart, as difficult issues arise."

Fr. William, O.S.B., a monk of St. Gregory's Abbey, Three Rivers, Mich., said, "With words, it's with the psalms. Without words, it's wanting, praising God."

Roger Boltz, assistant executive director of Episcopalians United, said, as "a card-carrying charismatic, I sometimes find myself praying in tongues. I begin to say syllables; they sort of bubble up. It's not in your mind; you don't hear it 'til you say it."

"I pray in gratitude for little things - a parking space, birds, planting in my garden," said Ms. Simpson. Ms. Hilton said, "I pray ... almost before I open my eyes, 'Lord be with me'."

Prayer is as private as heart beats. o